Face 'Me', regrets.

I don’t regret. It’s not in my character. There are things I wish never happened, but I have never regretted having them happened. There’s only a little about me that I can control, rest is controlled by my personality, which I have now come to believe is a mere formation of my parents’ genes with very little role left for me to play. I cannot help but be me, whether I like it or not. And ‘Me’ is not so simple, believe me, it’s not half as simple as I’d want it to be. It's the root of a lot of unhappiness, troubles that are uncalled for, it's the root of coming to a point in my life where I almost regretted. But still, it is me, and when an I faces ‘Me’ before the mirror, all I want for I is to smile at ‘Me’ and say, “hey you, I know you, may be a little too much too well, and you know what dude? Despite all the details, I’m still proud of you.” 

Too hard a task? I don't think so.

Bye bye goldie

I am resorting to some major blog changes as my last refuge from bugs and posting troubles. This might backfire and delete my posts and the very little number of followers that I have. But if I am to make my blogging experience a smoother ride and not a headache like it is now, then gotta do what I gotta do. 

Wish me luck!

Buggy Blogger

Honestly I am a little tired of blogger now. A lot of the widgets that I'd like to have were never available on blogger, there's a new bug effecting my template every other day, some change the pattern of the template, some delete my comments and now a new one won't show comments (specifically of bloggers from India) on my homepage or posts, I get to see them only when I click on separate links which comes through intensedebate notifications mailed to my gmail (thankfully!). Posting pictures has become difficult too, because of a blogger bug that has to do something with canon cameras. All in all, I am tired! And I have been thinking of switching to wordpress, but before I do that I need to look into the pros and cons of both.  I won't be using the paid version for either, so the comparison is between free blogger vs free wordpress. Any fruitful result that comes up of the research will be shared!

                                     

Shubho Noboborsho

(Improper) Summary: part II

I am so horribly irregular at blogging that from a point of being a letdown it has now reached a point where it's just plain funny. I am also amazed at how in spite of playing multiple roles in one breathing life so many of my fellow bloggers always come up with posts that makes you go.. 'ow that's good stuff'. These are the people who took away my timeless excuse of having no time at my hand. There are busy mothers, full time working students, hard knocked professionals on my reading list. And each and every post they create entailing stories to stories has truly been a good read, which is why despite my irregularity at blogging I am a regular reader. If I follow a blog I invariably try to keep up with it, the entity that does not let me blog likewise does not let me comment sometimes as well, but if I really connect to a post I'd always make sure to drop a line. Well anyway, this post I am about to make was in my draft, I remember getting so tired of arranging the photos right that I gave up on it and opted for a movie instead. Has been another month since and honestly if I am to keep the promise of jotting down past lane memories (since Jan as the previous post stopped at December) through photos then there will be a pile of myriad photos, so this stops here. The ones that was already in the draft are about to be posted in a second, rest, well umm I have decided to upload whenever, coz, what the hell, my blog, my way :) 

The improper summary part II (taken from an old draft)


As promised I am back again with more pictures. I thought this would be the quickest post comprising just loading and unloading, but wasn't that quick and painless after all. Most of the photos were taken with Canon cameras, which shares a bug with blogger that makes the pictures auto rotate. And the whole process of correcting was pretty graveling. But to ease my pain I have omitted a good per centum of photos :D and this is all we get for now. Decided to start off with Mona's wedding as it took most of my december, in a fun way, with friends I love.

This photo was taken at her Mehendi. Tasmeen, I and Nisha.


Beautiful Bride's beautiful mehendi

 
My turn :)

                   

Holud pictures:

Tidbits:

Christo:

..is a grown up now

Pohela falgun:

Nish, I, Afs

NSU is the best place to be in Falgun. From left: Nab, Nah, Naw, I, Ulli, Hum, Faiz

Valentine's:

sorry about the hazy picture, the guy couldn't figure how to focus

S

Costume party at T's:

Cricket:

at the stadium, watching a BPL match

Taken by S:

Mua 

Lastly:

:)

Summary: part I

So how should I start this post? A decent way I think would be through wishing everyone a happy twenty twelve :) Too late for that? Well better late than never! So here it goes,

May this new year give you bright new days to live in zest, peace of own mind and a world at peace with the awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every miraculous beat of our heart. Happy new year :)

I know by now the excitement's gone and it's another year of your life passing by unnoticed behind the works of life. But nevertheless I felt I owed this wish to this anarchy called life, chancing if it comes true...

Now about the disappearance, I have no excuse. As insincere as it might be I confess I do that. I do it to my friends, I do it to my family, I do it to my work, and now I am doing it to my blog. Sometimes I need time to be by myself, and myself only, if it were in my hands I would cut all my ties with this world and find the silence that I have been looking for. May be someday, when I am more independent, the world is big you know. There must be a corner in this huge landmass where I’d have my silence. But that’s not the trouble really, the real trouble lies somewhere else, it lies in the fact that regardless of where I go whichever corner I find that lets me hide myself, I still will be leaving the ones that care, right here. I’ll also be leaving the ones that need me, the ones that depend on me, or the ones that plainly miss me. And after some time they will start seeking me, many to satisfy a selfish ground, and some just to be sure that I am alright and breathing. I know what this might make you think but please do not misunderstand me, it's not my ignorance towards what I have, it's a state of mind I helplessly perceive. I do conceive the kind of blessing it unquestionably is to have someone who’s always on the lookout for you, missing you. Not everyone is lucky enough to have that in this lifetime, for many just survival is a blessing. But I am not one of those people, I was born with a little luck on my side, I too have to survive, but I also get the leverage of having other notions, which developed through the life I am leading. And the life I am leading makes me want to run away, even if for a little while, and it's also the life that makes me want to come back to it, and embrace it just as before.

I will make the rest of this post less boring by posting photos of what I have been up to in these three months.

December has been great, undoubtedly the rollercoaster month of the past year. It was crammed with projects, weddings, and rehearsals, and then more projects, more weddings and more rehearsals. Rehearsals were for the dances we prepared for a friend's sister's holud. Coming to think of it I really miss the rehearsal days, the friend was really laid back and understanding about the pressures of a soon to be ceasing semester, hence the timings were always flexible, and as much fun as we had you’d also be glad to know that we absolutely rocked the D-day!  Lets see some photos now-

Performing Tauba Tauba (From left: Sanji, Tasmeem and I)

The holud was beautifully organized, and I cannot even begin to say how beautiful the bride looked. I don’t know if it was the night or just our crazy hormones, but "something" turned us into a bunch of rowdies that night, rowdies who took cheering for each other to whole another level (!)

Picture of us with the beautiful bride. I am the one behind flower bouquet.  My ultra goofy friend Shafu happened to crack one of his racist jokes right before the shot.

I wanted to upload some of our dance videos but I guess blogger doesn't allow videos over 100 mb. I will however try to find a way out, but for now trusting the photos to suffice. There will be a lot more photos posted soon of rest of the ceremony but since this post is just a snapshot summary of last three months, I'll be hopping from event to event and the photos will hop accordingly. 

Some more photos from winter weddings:

This was the wedding of my good friend Esha. It still sometimes takes me a moment to believe she's a married lady now. She looked so beautiful in all the events, need a proof? Take a look below!

Her Holud

Her Wedding

Her Reception

Apart from weddings:

This year's winter only lived in its weddings, not in its weather. I have a wonderful collection of shawls which have never been put to good use in Bangladesh. The only wearable kind is the thin pashminas, but this time around that phase didn't last more than a week either.

A pashmina bought from boutique downstairs.

In a hoodie S bought me for the winter.

                                             

The months had a semester break in between so there were a lot of stayovers, random hangouts, haajir biriyani, trips out of Dhaka and what not.

K and I

Fry 'em all! --> Tas and K in a mosquito killing spree, the yellow bat you see electrocutes mosquitoes as we indulge in  sick pleasure.

My mad mad childhood friend A came from UK for a month.  Cooked for him and few other friends for lunch at my place.

A and I. One more year till I see him again.

Cooked a common favourite (barring me!) Chinese for the day. 

This is a fraction of what I have been up to in the last three months. I am not posting anymore photos as that would stretch the post too long (will make a part II). But I promise there will be more photos uploaded as soon as I grab some time again. Till then, see ya and stay well ! :)

On this day

Happy Perfume Day :)

When the only response is "Busy"

I am working on three research papers, one finance project, three presentations, countless quizzes, countless assignments, 8 midterms, 4 finals… and life.

   But don't worry, I am buying my life back soon, just need to sell 10 more days.  

aka my brain, body, eyes etc

Being of Heaven and Earth

It’s raining after ages. Trickling and tapping on the window pane, while I sit in the drawing room with curtains drawn inwards to the open verandah. And the wind, oh my the wind. Mmm how long have I waited for this wind? Quite long. The time long yearning has turned me foolishly inarticulate of the improbable divinity all around me. I just wish it wasn’t dark out there, and I could meet the nimbus in the sunkissed sky exposing its diverged shapes that speaks to me. It has been a while since we two had a convo. Last time it spoke of a man with big long mustache who coughed unmannerly and grew thunders. I called him Thor en mustachioed. To sustain his propriety he apologized by bestowing an illuminated arc of coloured light in the sky. And I called it rainbow. I wish for another rainbow, I wish for another rain, in another time, may be tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, when the sky is still sunkissed, and the smell of hot morning tea hovers over the fresh scent of cool rain. I want more such days, more such nights. Because I am in love, and I am in love with my name. 

I am a being of Heaven and Earth, of thunder and lightning, of rain and wind, of the galaxies. 

Eden Ahbez