Tick tick tick, the sound of time ticking. It doesn’t make me impatient, it doesn’t bore me seeing each second pass following its own laws. I like time. I want all the time in the world. I hear the tick tick tick in my insomniac nights and I never get fidgety, never roll from side to side in agitation. I may not get the sleep I need, but I get time. And I like time. For a similar reason, I am never tired of waiting, I can wait for hours after hours, days after days, years after years, given there’s no butterfly effect of that waiting, and it only has to offer a time without obligation, a time where I am not obligated to do anything, not obligated to think and definitely not obligated to act accordingly. I am not lazy (well not always), it’s the obligation. I yearn for a time where I will do something I would want to, and not because I have to. It can be the very same thing I am obligated to do, like attending NHK’s boring (you have no idea) and vague lectures, but out of choice and not out of obligation. After the recent earthquake occurrences I started wondering how it would be to be under oodles of debris, waiting to die. I get scared of the breathlessness, I fear of being in the confined space, of the pain of dehydration, hunger and the paralyzed situation, but never of the empty time. I would never pray to die owing to the empty time, yes owing to those other fears may be (though this too is highly unlikely). I want to live long, even if I suffer, I want ‘my time’ and ‘my time’ is LONG.
[Title Credit: Blind Guardian- Traveller In Time]
